so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
