I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
