Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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