I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
