i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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