dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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