No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize