After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
