Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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