i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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