There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
