Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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