I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
