I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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