Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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