goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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