I can tuck mytits in my pants
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
