:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
