He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
