return my video game
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize