remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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