"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
