i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
