STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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