all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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