...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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