tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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