Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize