I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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