Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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