Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
