allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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