epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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