I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
