Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
