we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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