ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
