TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just want nice things and good sex
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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