He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize