are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize