Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
