end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
