Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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