i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
barbara walters just said penis...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
