Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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