i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
