there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize