We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
