my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i would punch a child for taco bell
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
