I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
