I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
