Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize