We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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