The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
