Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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