you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
